- Look, O Volka, this is all yours! - What is?
All these elephants, camels, horses, donkeys,
and everything in those bags.
The people with the bags and animals belong to you, too.
Zhenya, come here!
Oh, a zoo! What is it?
Zhenya, only don't get scared. I'm a slave owner!
Are you off your head?
And an elephant owner, and a camel owner.
And the owner of some riches.
What's in those bags?
The most precious of goods.
Pepper, cinnamon.
Ginger, vanilla.
So that's why we're all sneezing.
A bag of pepper must have got torn, and we're sneezing.
Let the torn bag become whole again.
And let the spilled goods get back into it.
Spices are not a palace.
Spices need not belong to a club or a sanatorium.
Every household can use spices.
At last I found something to make you rich and happy.
What do I want with so much pepper and vanilla?
I could use 100 grams, say. And Zhenya, too.
- The rest must be distributed. - Not distributed! Sold!
You will have money, a great deal of money.
And money means fame, money means all the friends you want!
Judge for yourself, Khottabych,
who wants friends for money?
Oh no, I'd rather die than become a speculator!
Yes, better to die.
Let me try it on.
You forget that money gives
the strongest power over men.
- What do we want with power? - We're not czars, or capitalists.
So you want me to give this away to your... RONO?
No, RONO has nothing to do with that.
The best place to give such stuff to is the Gastronom (food shop).
Uh-huh, that's where food goes.
No!
No, do you hear me? No.
Neither to RONO, nor to Gastronom,
nor to any other acquaintance of yours will I give these riches!
O exalted one!
And the slaves must be set free.
Naturally. And the animals can go to the zoo.
It's all your Varvara Stepanovna's fault!
It's she that has taught you not to accept my gifts.
She won't get away with it.
Why, I'll make her...
Khottabych, you know what?
Do us a favour! Let's go to the circus.
- We want to go there so badly! - Only you can help us!
You're so powerful!
The circus? What's that? Something like a sanatorium?
- It's a thousand times... - A million times more interesting!
- Well, Khottabych? - Please!
But what about all this?
Make it invisible.
We could use one camel.
Right, let's ride to the circus on a camel.
Please, nearer to the sidewalk, citizens!
You must obey rules. This way, please.
Comrade militiaman, I won't do it again.
Let us go, please. It's the first time...
They all say that. You must obey rules.
- Your name, please! - Kostylkov.
He'll speak to him
like a noble saviour of genies should!
How dare you, base guard...
How dare you, base guard,
detain me in this precious hour of my outing?
At last we hear words of dignity and courage.
I am the most distinguished youth in this city!
All right, young man, let them figure it out at the station.
Rules must be obeyed!
Don't listen to me, dear comrades.
It's not me talking. He is making me talk.
Tremble! And don't make me lose my temper...
For I'm terrible when angered! I swear by my beard!
That is his beard.
Folks, this child has fever. Smoke is just coming from him!
I'm terrible when angered!
Move on, folks!
Haven't you seen smoke coming from a boy before?
Khottabych, let the camel vanish, and let us be in the circus.
Let everyone forget what happened here.
Intermission!
I'll go home and study geography. You stay here with Khottabych.
All of us should better go. Varvara Stepanovna is here!
Khottabych, let's go to town. It's not interesting here today.
Come on, let's go.
No, I've never seen anything as interesting
as this wonderful tent.
You may go. I'll join you when the show is over.
Not for the world will we part with you.
O my kind young friends!
We must use every free minute for our studies.
We will now learn the alphabet using this program.
With the greatest pleasure!
- This is the letter "A", understand? - I understand, O Zhenya!
- What letter is this? - The letter "A", O Zhenya.
Correct. Find all the "A"s on this page.
Eskimo pies! Buy an Eskimo pie!
Here, Khottabych, taste this. It's good.
This tastes better than the most delicious sherbet.
Even at the court of King Suleiman ibn Daud
I never ate anything so delicious.
Where are you hurrying, O charming maiden,
with the face like a slice of the moon?
I'll take the whole lot.
I'll come back for the tray.
Mar... mar-vels...
of il-lu-sion-ist tech-nique.
You're awfully smart!
What did you think? Never has there been a more talented genie!
Group of jum... jumpers.
O, my young teachers! I've read the whole program.
Conjurer Afanasy Sidorelli!
What is the cause of this noisy hand clapping, O Volka?
- Don't you see? - Out of an empty box!
Don't try to detain me, my friends!
Enough!
What is this?
You're being deceived!
You're being deceived. This is not magic!
This is ordinary sleight of hand!
What sort of magic is this?
What will you say now?
Khottabych! Khottabych! Khottabych!
What's the matter with you? You look terrible!
Well? How was that? Better than Sidorelli, eh?
What applause there was, eh?
But you, O Volka, did not clap once.
Can you bring everybody back?
Even he cannot do that!
Er... you know what... I'm from the circus management.
Will you please come to the office with me?
We offer you a tour of the Soviet Union.
You can make your own conditions.
Can't you see? He's ill. He has high fever!
I'll send a car for you at once.
The old man ate too much ice-cream.
The game starts in an hour.
Who cares about football now? We've got to make the old man well.
Khottabych dear, how do you feel?
Yes, he's a swell old man.
- I'll say he is! - He's not to blame.
He tries for the best.
And if he only knew how much worry he causes us.
Now what has he got against Varvara Stepanovna?
She's strict, but she's fair.
Yes, she's fair.
- He ought to be re-educated. - Yes, his education's not so good.
But he's a good man, kind-hearted.
Listen, Zhenya, what if he dies?
We must save him, cure him.
O my noble young friends...
Close your eyes, Khottabych. Try to sleep.
You need rest. A sick man needs rest.
A sick man, yes,
but not a sick genie.
If anyone feels sorry for a sick genie,
he gets well at once.
Surely, you must know that
from your scientific books.
I'm perfectly well. You see?
Go to the game with Khottabych, and I'll get down to my geography.
All right.
Khottabych, let's go to the football game.
Today is the final match between "Puck" and "Chisel".
What is the meaning of the word 'match'?
It's the most interesting thing in the world.
- More interesting than the circus? - At least as interesting. Come.
- What about Volka? - I may join you later.
- Come on. - Come, then.
Just a minute, O Zhenya. Wait for me downstairs.
All right.
Barking?
Yes, I can't stop. Why do you ask?
It was I who punished you for not being a friend to your schoolmates.
I admit my mistakes, I admit my mistakes!
Remember, every time you open your mouth
to say something nasty about someone,
to tattle or gossip,
nothing but a disgusting bark will come from your lips.
Don't say nasty things and you won't bark. Understand?
Oh, I do, I do!
Now forget that I was here
but remember your promise all your life.
"Chisel" is ahead! They'll beat "Puck" to a pulp!
That remains to be seen.
Did you see that? Beat them! That's not so easy!
Do you mean to say these young men
will have to run about all the time and knock each other around
just to push that stupid ball for a few seconds?
- Is that your work, Khottabych? - Mine.
Surely each one will be pleased
to have his own ball to play with.
Don't you understand, you strange man,
the whole point of football is to...
Oh, I see. So I deprived the "Puck" team of a sure goal?
Exactly!
- What an interesting game! - You telling me!
And does the esteemed Volka also like football?
Very much! But he has urgent work to do today.
There is no work I would not gladly do
for our good friend Volka.
I welcome you to the stadium, O peerless schoolboy!
You cannot imagine, O Volka, how much I am to blame.
I deprived the "Puck" of a sure goal.
Shame on my gray hair!
Khottabych, please widen the "Puck" goal area
when "Chisel" aims for it.
What good will that do "Puck"?
It will do "Chisel" good.
Hurray! A goal! Hurray!
Listen, you'll certainly laugh at what I'm going to say.
- The crossbar plays up to "Puck". - What?!
The crossbar jumped up and let the ball through.
- Have you taken your temperature? - Oh, lay off!
No one will believe it, of course.
- Did you see that now? - I believe I did.
- But no one will believe it. - They'll laugh at us.
You've mixed everything up! I asked you to help "Chisel"!
I haven't mixed anything up, O stadium of my heart.
What does that mean?
Zhenya and I are for "Chisel".
- Are you for "Puck"? - Yes, I fear this is the case.
A goal! Mama!
- I'm coming, coming... - 12-0.
Coming, Gogha, coming!
Crazy man!
- Grind up "Chisel" for soap! - Grind up "Chisel" for soap!
17-0!
Oh, mother!
What treachery!
Look what a fine team you are disgracing!
"'Chisel' is an up and coming team."
"'Chi-sel' be-gan
the sea-son well." Interesting!
Great!
I'll read it later.
You have to choose: It's me or "Puck".
But you're a fan yourself, O goalkeeper of my heart!
Choose!
I submissively await your command.
Let everyone realize that "Chisel" is not to blame for its defeat.
Let everyone forget this crazy match.
I hear and I obey.
Attention!
In view of the fact
that the entire "Chisel" team has suddenly caught the measles,
the referees have decided
to cancel the "Chisel-Puck" match
until the "Chisel" team recovers.
The score of the first half
is invalid.
See you next time, comrades!
All the time I try to give you pleasure, O Volka,
and all I do is make trouble for you.
I spoiled things for you at the exam. Don't deny it.
- Nothing of the sort! - Oh yes, I did. I know I did.
And then...
Khottabych, let's have it out man to man.
I'm all attention, O Volka!
Well, I'm sick and tired of your miracles.
You are a powerful genie, of course.
But you know about modern life less than a baby.
- Is that clear? - Alas, it is clear.
So when you want to perform a miracle, consult somebody first.
I'll consult you, O Volka.
And if you're absent or studying for your re-examination,
I'll consult Zhenya.
- Do you swear? - My word of honour as a Pioneer!
Hello!
You know what? At last I've found you!
Please come with me at once to the circus for negotiations,
or my head will come off.
Just let anyone try to tear off the head
of so worthy a person as you!
Go ahead, Khottabych. You're just right for the circus.
- I listen and I obey, O Volka! - Fine!
Only my work in the circus mustn't affect my studies.
You'll combine work with studies.
Right, young man. You know what? Come on!
I present Hassan Abdurrahman ibn Khottab!
O, most precious one!
Good, isn't it? My artistic direction!
- Bravo, Khottabych! - Bravo!
Age: Years and months.
3,732 years and 5 months.
"Orphan" begins with an "O", not an "A".
Hassan Khottabych, sign here please.
There's a meeting of the conjurors' and fakirs' section
tomorrow at four.
Sorry, I can't come, O esteemed one.
From four to six I study
secondary school subjects under the guidance of my young friends.
I've made especial progress in geography.
Yesterday my wise teacher, Volka ibn Alyosha, passed
his geography exam with an excellent mark!
Way to go, guys!
Khottabych, it's time for us to start our lesson.
Yes, it's four o'clock.
Right away, just one minute, O my strict teachers.
I dare not detain our highly esteemed audience any longer.
I must bid them farewell.
Goodbye, my dear friends!
We will surely see many more fine miracles!
The End